"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero…"
A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.
Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…"
A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…"
The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.
"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…"
The frog's voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.
"But why don't you kiss her?!" the math student asks.
"You know", the CS student replies, "I simply don't have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…"
A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"
"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."
"How can you know that with such precision?!"
"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old – and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago…"
"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."
"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."
"But twelve isn't odd!"
"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…"
A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.
To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.
"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"
"What topic to you mean?"
"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."
At the end of his course on mathematical methods in optimization, the professor sternly looks at his students and says: "There is one final piece of advice I'm going to give you now: Whatever you have learned in my course – never ever try to apply it to your personal lives!"
"Why?" the students ask.
"Well, some years ago, I observed my wife preparing breakfast, and I noticed that she wasted a lot of time walking back and forth in the kitchen. So, I went to work, optimized the whole procedure, and told my wife about it."
"And what happened?!"
"Before I applied my expert knowledge, my wife needed about half an hour to prepare breakfast for the two of us. And now, it takes me less than fifteen minutes…"
Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3…
Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"
The girl replies: "No – it's a cosin, silly!!!"
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A high school math problem!
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…
A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear – I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…"
It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"
The professor gently smiles and says: "Of course not – if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"
A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"
He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"
Adalah dipohon kepada para graduan yang telah berkonvokesyen mulai tahun 2006 hingga 2013 bagi mengemaskini status anda di capaian ini : SistemSKPG I - Kemas Kini Status Pekerjaan.
Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia ingin memaklumkan terdapat satu laman web dan laman Facebook yang mendakwa menyediakan Bantuan Dana Pendidikan yang diberi nama BANTUAN DANA PENDIDIKAN 2013.
Lecturer User Manual CIDOS e-Learningpreview online Lecturer User Manual CIDOS e BAHAGIAN PEMBANGUNAN KURIKULUM-Learning & BAHAGIAN KECEMERLANGAN INSTRUKSIONAL JABATAN PENGAJIAN POLITEKNIK Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower,
FORMAT PENULISANpreview online FORMAT PENULISAN TITLE (B OLD, SIZE 14, UPPERCASE, CENTER) Author 11, Author 22 and Author3 (B old, Title Case, Size 11, Center) 1, 2 Politeknik Ungku Omar, Ipoh, Perak
DASAR DAN PRINSIP PENTAKSIRAN POLITEKNIKpreview online DASAR DAN PRINSIP PENTAKSIRAN POLITEKNIK 2 2.2 Pentaksiran yang mempunyai nilai kesahan Kesahan memastikan aktiviti dan kriteria pentaksiran yang dilaksanakan
cidos.edu.my domain lookup results from whois.domainregistry.my server: Welcome to .my DOMAIN REGISTRY Whois Server. -------------------------------------------------- For alternative search, whois -h whois.domainregistry.my xxxxx#option Type the command as below for display help: whois -h whois.domainregistry.my help#h Note: Code is previously known as MYNIC Handle. Please note that the query limit is 500 per day from the same IP. -------------------------------------------------- SEARCH BY DOMAIN NAME a [Domain Name] cidos.edu.my b [Registration No.] D5A002578 c [Record Created] 11-AUG-2010 d [Record Expired] 11-AUG-2014 e [Record Last Modified] 25-JUL-2013 f [Invoicing Party] MYNIC Billing Department .my DOMAIN REGISTRY Level 3, Block C, Mines Waterfront Business Park No.3, Jalan Tasik, Mines Resort City 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia billing@domainregistry.my (Tel) 603-89917272 (Fax) 603-89917277 g [Registrant Code] RKEY0000012856 Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik (Government) Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor (Tel) 03-89394000 (Fax) 03-89394449 h [Administrative Contact Code] CKEY0000020187 Encik Harun bin Sahat Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia harun@mohe.gov.my (Tel) 03-89394477 (Fax) 03-89394449 i [Billing Contact Code] CKEY0000020187 Encik Harun bin Sahat Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia harun@mohe.gov.my (Tel) 03-89394477 (Fax) 03-89394449 j [Technical Contact Code] EXA-REGI0.CON Exabytes Network Registrar Exabytes Network Sdn Bhd 1-18-8, Suntech Penang Cybercity Lintang Mayang Pasir 3, 11950 Bayan Baru Pulau Pinang Malaysia domain@exabytes.com.my (Tel) 604-6308283 (Fax) 604-6308288 k [Primary Name Server] SKEY0000012529 ns1191.dns.dyn.com 208.76.58.191 l [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012530 ns2145.dns.dyn.com 208.76.59.145 [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012531 ns3171.dns.dyn.com 208.76.60.171 [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012532 ns4130.dns.dyn.com 208.76.61.130 Disclaimer :- MYNIC, the Registry for .my has collected this information for the WHOIS database through a MYNIC-Accredited Reseller. This information is provided to you for informational purposes only and is designed to assist persons in determining contents of a domain name registration record in the MYNIC registry database. MYNIC makes this information available to you "as is" and does not guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a WHOIS query, you agree that you will use this data only for lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data: (1) to allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations via electronic mail, or otherwise; (2) for spamming or speculative purposes or commercial purpose; (3) to enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that apply to the registry (or its systems) or (4) for any other abusive purpose Compilation, repackaging, dissemination, or other use of the WHOIS database in its entirety, or of a substantial portion thereof, is not allowed without MYNIC's prior written permission. MYNIC reserves the right to modify or change these conditions at any time without prior or subsequent notification of any kind. By executing this query, in any manner whatsoever, you agree to abide by these terms. NOTE: FAILURE TO LOCATE A RECORD IN THE WHOIS DATABASE IS NOT INDICATIVE OF THE AVAILABILITY OF A DOMAIN NAME. All domain names are subject to MYNIC's Registration Rules and Agreement for the Registration of Domain Name. For details, please visit our website at www.domainregistry.my.
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero…"
A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.
Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…"
A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…"
The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.
"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…"
The frog's voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.
"But why don't you kiss her?!" the math student asks.
"You know", the CS student replies, "I simply don't have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…"
A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"
"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."
"How can you know that with such precision?!"
"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old – and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago…"
"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."
"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."
"But twelve isn't odd!"
"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…"
A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.
To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.
"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"
"What topic to you mean?"
"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."
At the end of his course on mathematical methods in optimization, the professor sternly looks at his students and says: "There is one final piece of advice I'm going to give you now: Whatever you have learned in my course – never ever try to apply it to your personal lives!"
"Why?" the students ask.
"Well, some years ago, I observed my wife preparing breakfast, and I noticed that she wasted a lot of time walking back and forth in the kitchen. So, I went to work, optimized the whole procedure, and told my wife about it."
"And what happened?!"
"Before I applied my expert knowledge, my wife needed about half an hour to prepare breakfast for the two of us. And now, it takes me less than fifteen minutes…"
Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3…
Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"
The girl replies: "No – it's a cosin, silly!!!"
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A high school math problem!
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…
A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear – I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…"
It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"
The professor gently smiles and says: "Of course not – if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"
A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"
He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"
Free Online Games – Internet Fun! Play Addicting Web Flash Games really fun games
Looking for really funny stuff? is being updated several times an hour with the most funny stuff on the net! Jump in and enjoy!. Really funny jokes, adult jokes, good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, very funny jokes, kids jokes, funny pictures. Coolmath was designed for the frustrated, the confused,the bored students of the world who hate math and for math geeks of the world who love all things math.. really fun games to play outside
Cool Math 4 Kids has cool math lessons, cool math games and fun activities. We have free online flash cards to print out, cool math practice games, online calculators. Funny videos, fail videos, funny pictures, funny galleries, funny links, flash games, jokes, caption contests, photoshop contests. Sheppard Software: Fun free online learning games and Hundreds of fun educational games and activities for kids to play online. Topics include math, geography, animals, and more.. really fun games for girls
You can play all Funny Games on this site for free. Registered members can save their favorite games, comment on games, submit high scores etc.. New at disney world really fun games to play – Cool Math – free online cool math lessons, cool
Free Online Games – Internet Fun! Play Addicting Web Flash Games really fun games
Looking for really funny stuff? is being updated several times an hour with the most funny stuff on the net! Jump in and enjoy!. Really funny jokes, adult jokes, good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, very funny jokes, kids jokes, funny pictures. Coolmath was designed for the frustrated, the confused,the bored students of the world who hate math and for math geeks of the world who love all things math.. really fun games to play outside
Cool Math 4 Kids has cool math lessons, cool math games and fun activities. We have free online flash cards to print out, cool math practice games, online calculators. Funny videos, fail videos, funny pictures, funny galleries, funny links, flash games, jokes, caption contests, photoshop contests. Sheppard Software: Fun free online learning games and Hundreds of fun educational games and activities for kids to play online. Topics include math, geography, animals, and more.. really fun games for girls
You can play all Funny Games on this site for free. Registered members can save their favorite games, comment on games, submit high scores etc.. New at disney world really fun games to play – Cool Math – free online cool math lessons, cool
Funny video "Math Notes" by Toshiba. The Toshiba Excite Write Converts Your Handwriting and Sketches In to Notes That You Can Send or Share, Can Your Tablet Do That ? Leading Innovation. Toshiba.
youtubeMy parents would always want to know what my grades were in school so they knew whether or not I needed help, or if I was doing well. Some parents usually pass it off like it's nothing, and some of them freak out like this Dad.
This kid got his math score in, and decided to record his Dad's reaction because his Dad apparently gets that passionate about his son's grades and success as he goes through school.
I wonder what he does when his son's report card comes out? He must go crazy and do backflips.
Math is fun and Math vs. Undead: Math Workout, one of the best games can prove it! It combines zombie games and educational games for kids in one fun game. Kids love zombie games especially if they are shooter games, and parents love educational games for kids, so weve made this Math vs. Undead: Math Workout application to satisfy both kids and parents. Stop the zombie tsunami now! Your brain will <3 this game for math because it is on the first place fun game for free. This zombie math game for teenagers is a great brainteaser. Stop lollygagging on the web but instead start fighting with math vs zombies. What this game has that others dont have? Eye-candy graphics and user friendly interface One math genius that defends himself from numerous zombies and his only weapon is his mathematics knowledge  Math attack with every correct answer you will shoot evil zombies with pointed pens, sharp triangles, rulers and dividers Basic math operations and math formulae addition, subtraction, multiplication and division Math playground challenge your brain in 30 levels; speed up your ability to perform calculation quickly. Mind training game that involves numbers improves mental workout, tests your IQ but also your reflexes, and enhances cognitive functions and visual memory and turns you into a real math geniusLearning was never easier!Primarily this is an educational game for teens and can be seen as math for 3th to 5th graders and even can be useful as exercise for older kids. It is suitable for little kids as well, as it is also one of the games for preschool kids that can help kids later on in school. Here, kids deal with elementary math in a funny and interesting way. We know math can cause a lot of problems to both kids and parents, but this cool math game can have multiple benefits. One the other hand, scientists say that brain needs training like muscles do, so parents set your mind into action with this game for adults and fun mind game. Everybody can enjoy this family game and both girls and boys will have fun while learning. Kids, dont run away from math problems, because they are not as hard as they seem! All you have to do is to grow the plants of your knowledge for stopping the zombie invasion by solving math problems and enjoying fun games for teens at the same time!Download free game for Android now!
** Note: Some posts on Math-Fail are user-submitted and NOT verified by the admin of the site before publication. If you find this post to be distasteful, non-math related, ?or something worse?, then definitely leave a comment letting me know. Thanks very much! Mike **
Happy New Year! With a new calendar year, you deserve a couple of new calendar feats to go with it. In this post, you'll learn how to quickly give the day of the week AND the moon phase for any date in 2014. Even better, both of these feats are much easier than they sound! DAY OF THE WEEK FOR ANY DATE IN 2014: The method to do this is quite simple, and is known as the Doomsday method,
by Johnson K Saai, reporters@theborneopost.com. Posted on October 8, 2013, Tuesday
KUCHING: The government should re-examine the salary structure for technicians and technical and vocational education trained (TVET) semi-professionals as this group of workers are currently being viewed as second-class manpower.
Minister of Infrastructure Development and Communication Minister Dato Sri Michael Manyin Jawong, who made the call, said because the civil service veered towards academic qualifications rather than skills, many people tended to shy away from pursing technical education whenever possible.
"It is easier in the private sector because a person's remuneration is usually based on their skills, capability and productivity, but not in the civil service.
"In the government sector, once you don't have the paper qualification, you will go nowhere no matter how good you are, or even if you have passed your diplomas or certificates with flying colours."
He said this to reporters yesterday after representing the chief minister to open the inaugural National Conference for Technicians and TVET Semi-Professionals (SwakCREATE 2013) here.
The event was organised by Politeknik Kuching Sarawak (PKS) and the Malaysian Society for Engineering and Technology (MySET).
Manyin said if the government were serious in promoting technical and vocational education, then it needed to look into this shortcoming because currently technicians and TVET semi-professionals are categorised as "supporting officers" under Grade B.
He opined that they should be categorised as Grade A officers, and enjoy same perks as degree holders.
"Because of our present system, most people, especially parents, consider being a technician or TVET semi-professional only as second choice, or even as the final resort."
Manyin said this state of affair should not be allowed to persist if Malaysia wanted to become a developed nation.
"The conference today is most appropriate in view of the ever increasing demand for technicians, but, unfortunately, the profession is not being recognised and appreciated to the level they deserved."
Earlier, MySET president Prof. Dato Abang Abdullah Abang Ali, who was also present at the press conference, lamented that very little emphasis had been put on this category of workers.
"They have no one to turn to. Unlike those from many other professions, technicians and TVET semi-professionals are not protected under certain laws.
"MySET realised this, and, in fact, we have submitted our draft for the establishment of Malaysian Board of Technologists (MBOT), but unfortunately it got stuck in the Attorney-General's Office for about two years now.
"Anyway, we will continue to push for MBOT to be tabled in Parliament, and be implemented. We feel this matter has been long, long overdue."
Also present at the news conference were the Education Ministry's Polytechnic Studies Department director-general Datuk Mohlis Jaafar and Politeknik Kuching Sarawak director Clara Ong Guat Leng.
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youtubeMy parents would always want to know what my grades were in school so they knew whether or not I needed help, or if I was doing well. Some parents usually pass it off like it's nothing, and some of them freak out like this Dad.
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